I Didn't Call Myself Creative Until - I Decided To

I made costumes for my whole friend group, more than once. I gave away paintings, just because.
When my baby sisters were born, I sewed them a quilt. Taught myself to sew bags, then a dress.

And still, I never called myself creative.
Never called myself an artist.

It felt like you had to earn that.
Like you had to be really good, or pick one thing and go deep on it, before the label was actually yours to use.

The Comments That Stuck

As a kid, I loved learning new creative things one after another. At the time, I never stayed with any one of them long enough to get really good.

You need to focus. Finish something. Pick one thing and go for it.

I heard some version of that a lot. It stuck. Somewhere in there I decided that being curious about everything instead of excellent at one thing meant the label wasn't mine yet. Maybe never.

Putting It Down, Then Finding My Way Back

I put my curiosity toward higher learning instead. Had to prove to people I could finish what I start. Degree after degree. Arts. Education. Engineering.

Then came a high tech job, a pregnancy, and the creative stuff got put on the side entirely. Not really a decision. Just what happens when there's no room left for it.

It was after having my baby that I found my way back.
I gave myself permission to start exploring again.
I started to understand better what it actually means to be creative.
Not the output. Not how good you are.
Something closer to a mindset.

This shift was the floodgates opening for me.

What I Decided

I decided I'm an artist.
I'm a creative person.
That's something I get to identify as, not something I have to earn by being the best at one thing.

The same curiosity that got called scattered when I was a kid is the exact thing that let me combine all my knowledge and skills to go for my dreams.

I don't split myself into boxes anymore. I'm not just a painter, or just someone who sews. I'm creative, the whole restless, curious version of that word.

I love learning new things. I love passing them on just as much. Messy Magic House is where both finally get to live.

What I Want to Give Other People

I think a lot of people are still where I was.
Waiting to be good enough before they let themselves say it.
Staying in one box because it feels safer than admitting they want to try five things.

I want to give people permission to skip that waiting.
You don't have to be great at something for it to count.
You don't have to finish it, or master it, or pick just one.

You just have to let yourself begin.

My kids get to watch me practice that too. Not perfection. Just the courage to keep doing.